I noticed something interesting lately, that (even though it was obvious in retrospect) took me by surprise.
I get regular reports about how my website performs - how many people visit, at what times, and what they're looking at, etc.
This week I noticed that my website visits were down by 65% from the previous week. Weird, right?
And then it hit me - the weather has been gorgeous in the UK this week. Every session has started with how much better clients feel, now that the sun is out.
So, of course people are less likely to be searching for help with feeling bad - because for now, they're feeling better.
And that is 100% ok - I feel better too! Letting temporary events like the weather lift your spirits isn't wrong.
But it highlighted something important to me. Most of the time, we are reacting to life, instead of creating the feeling we want in advance.
If it's sunny, you feel good. If your kids are happy, you feel happy. And that's great (it really is!).
But what happens on rainy days? What happens on the days when your kids are unhappy? What happens to you then?
When your emotional life depends on things outside yourself - particularly those you can't control - then you're entirely at the whim of life's ups and downs.
You're always in reaction-mode - you're passive - a victim of circumstance.
What if, instead, you were positively pre-armed against those difficult circumstances? What if you had some 'happy' armour on?
Haven't you ever noticed how much easier it is to deal with being cut up in traffic when you're in a good mood?
How much easier it is to brush off unfair criticism when you know you're great?
If you can create a storehouse of wellbeing in advance, it armours you for when life throws its inevitable slings and arrows at you.
It doesn't mean that you'll never experience pain or sorrow again, or that nothing bad will ever happen to you again.
But it might mean that you suffer less. As the saying goes - "Pain is inevitable, suffering is a choice."
So, let me be really clear - it is not wrong to react positively to the weather, or to a compliment you received, or to your kid laughing and being happy.
In fact, it is wonderful, and you should milk those moments for all they're worth. And not just in the moment they happen, but at other times too.
Store those moments in your mind, heart, and body. Let yourself feel those joyful times as fully as you possibly can. These will be your happy armour in tougher times.
And if I could leave you with one piece of advice - get to therapy even when you're feeling good. Do the work, even if you're having a bad day.
That's you building your savings account.
You can do it! Big love,
P.S. What's one thing you could do today to put a deposit in your happy bank for later? How about a free chat with me to see how I can help you manage your emotional funds?
Book in at: sophieshaw.as.me/freecall and start saving for your rainy day.
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