3 EMOTIONAL MYTHS THAT ARE KEEPING YOU STUCK
- Sophie Shaw
- Jul 24
- 3 min read
At least 3 big emotional myths keep you stuck and confuse the crap out of people when they start working on their emotions.
These confusions and misunderstandings can totally derail your healing process, if left unchecked.
They're like a great big speedbump, and they can make you want to give up, and revert to your unsatisfactory, but seemingly logical life as it was before.
Let's bust them today, and get you on your way.
1. You can make sense of your emotions.
Confession - this one is actually true - to a certain extent.
You can work with a coach or therapist, or journal out your feelings until they start to make more sense to you. You can reach a certain level of understanding - but with a big, fat caveat: emotions are not logical.
You can't think your way out of feelings - you just have to feel them. Understanding is useful, but ultimately, you're just going to have to learn to be with those feelings. To acknowledge, accept and feel them.
They don't always make sense. They're not always rational. They can be messy - often are. They can originate from a very young, child-like part of ourselves.
Using the mind to solve problems of the mind is limited. Instead, it's more useful to employ our old friend, acceptance.
2. You can't feel more than one emotion at a time.
Ever felt completely confused about exactly what you're feeling? Like part of you is happy and relieved, and another is grief-stricken?
This happens.
You're a complex being, and your mind is more than capable of experiencing several emotions at once.
This confusion often arises when you're feeling something that you "shouldn't" be feeling - or not feeling something that you "should".
For example - you've ended an unhealthy relationship. You know it's for the best, and mostly you feel relieved and free. But part of you might still grieve for the person you thought your partner was.
It's confusing. And it's normal.
Don't judge yourself for whatever you're feeling. And don't feel you have to make sense of it, either. (See point 1!)
3. You can't choose your feelings.
This is a biggie.
Honestly, I spent most of my adult life believing this myth. I thought it was ludicrous to suggest that we can choose what we feel.
This left me at the mercy of every emotional up and down, bobbing along on the tidal waves of my feelings, like a paper boat - often getting capsized.
The truth is you absolutely can choose your emotions - BUT (and it's a big butt 🍑) - only once you've acknowledged, felt and accepted them first.
Ooh, this is so important. It's the step that most people skip over, or rush past.
Feel the feeling first, add a big dollop of acceptance, then you can start choosing a different response.
Practised over time, this process gets easier and easier, until it's almost automatic. You experience an emotional trigger, and your default reaction is healthy and helpful.
In short, you experience emotional freedom.
This does not mean a lack of emotion, or a glassy-eyed state of permanent bliss.
Instead, it means experiencing a full range of human emotions, in a way that doesn't feel overwhelming or disabling.
Bonus: If you allow yourself to fully feel your emotions, you'll be overwhelmed.
Emotions that are avoided, squashed or kept at bay will feel overwhelming. Emotions that are allowed in might feel intense - but then they pass.
Working with a coach or therapist, in a non-judgmental space, allows this free-flow of emotion to take place in a gentle, supported way.
You may feel strong emotion, but you won't be overwhelmed.
No more capsizing!
So what do you think? Does this help you accept your beautiful, messy, illogical emotions a bit more?
Big love,
P.S. Try THIS meditation for sitting with, and releasing, your 'negative' emotions.
And book your free discovery session to see if working with me would be helpful.
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