How can you tell if you've truly accepted something and let it go, or if you're just suppressing how you really feel about it?
It's a tricky one, for sure - and I'm going to ask for your feedback on this, because I'm genuinely curious to know more!
So many times I've heard someone say: "He said X and I accept that" and I think to myself 'No you don't, my friend. You do not accept that - and that's ok.'
You see, a lot of the time, what we think is acceptance, is really just saying nothing, while silently stewing in resentment.
You haven't ACTUALLY let it go, you just don't know what to do about it, so you tell yourself "I accept that" - and then seethe.
TRUE acceptance leads to TRUE letting go, and it looks a little (a lot) different.
When you truly accept something, you can hear about it without feeling emotionally derailed. If you have to meet or work with that person again, it's genuinely no biggie. You can think about what happened, and keep your peace of mind.
In fact, you don't even need to think about it all that much, so it soon passes out of your awareness. You let it go, and it feels SO GOOD.
Does this resonate? Are you a stewer, or have you really let it go?
Full confession - I'm a stewer. If it makes you feel any better, I have to work really hard at this because I don't find it easy, even now. AND it's important to remember that this is harder for neurodivergent folks.
So - my top tips for letting things go:
Journal that s**t out. All that stewing, all that resentment, all those immature, childish things you're not allowed to think/feel/say, just get them out onto the page - and then shred it/burn it/rip it up. You need a non-judgemental outlet of expression. This is one of my favourite ways to let things go.
Dance it out. Resentment gets stuck in the body (so does anxiety, and any other negative emotion, by the way), and moving freely to music is one of the best ways to disperse and dispel that energy. Shake your tail feather!
Just feel it. We invest so much energy in being "OK", that we forget to just feel our emotions, so instead of being felt and released (like a fart), they hang around for SO much longer than they need to. Let it flow, let it go.
This healing meditation to Release Negative Emotions is a HUGE help - it's the same process that I take my clients through. Feel it, allow it, let it move, let it go. It's my favourite method of all.
And if I could create something to help you, what would it be? A meditation? A mini-course? A video? Something else?
Get in touch and let me know!
Big love,
P.S. It sort of pisses me off when people say airily "Oh I just let it go." How about you? If you're a stewer, you need help from someone who knows what you're going through, and who can help you through it without judgement.
Book a free chat at: sophieshaw.as.me/freecall and I'll tell you all about it.
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