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WHAT KIND OF SELF CARE DO YOU NEED?

A woman with hands on her heart, eyes closed, in front of trees. Text reads: "What kind of self care do you need?" Calm mood.

Self-care is a funny old thing - it looks different for everyone, and depends on what your needs are in the moment. There isn't a one-size-fits-all way to care for yourself.


Sometimes self-care is forcing your butt out of bed and getting out for a bit of exercise. 


Sometimes it's forcing yourself back into bed, or just ensuring you've eaten today.


Sometimes, it's getting a structured routine in place for meditation, hydration, sleep, and nutrition - like getting a little bit stricter with yourself and being your own bossy coach/cheerleader.


And sometimes it means letting all that shit go, and allowing yourself to just rest and be.


How will you know?


  • When you feel flat, tired, bored and uninspired - when what you're doing is a drag and doesn't bring you joy - it's probably time to shake things up and get more active.

  • When you wake up feeling anxiety and dread, it's probably time to slow down or even stop.

  • When you start to resent all the things you're doing for others, it's probably time for a time-out.


When you're trying to decide what kind of self-care you need, ask yourself these searching questions - and answer honestly!

If you think you need to do more:

  • Is this self-motivation or self-punishment?

  • Do I need to push myself harder? Is there someone who'd be disappointed in me if I didn't?

  • Is this coming from an enjoyable motivation, or a feeling of not-enoughness if you don't do it?


If you think you need to do less:

  • Am I getting much-needed rest - or am I avoiding something?

  • Am I stopping because of a lack of self-belief that I can do the thing?

  • Am I approaching the last 10% of a task/project? (In which case, push through to the end - trust me!)


Only you will know what you truly need - and it might be helpful to imagine that you're talking it through with your best friend or coach - what would they say you need?


Ask yourself - will this feel good right now, but bad later? Or - will this feel bad right now but good later?


OR (the sweet spot) - will this feel good right now AND good later?


The truth is - this feeling is not going to just pass with time. More likely, it'll get suppressed. You'll just learn to deal with it - you'll 'cope'.


My love, I know you can cope. You've proved that a hundred times over.


Don't you want to do more than just cope? Wouldn't you like to thrive instead? How would THAT feel?


Here's some self-care tips for you:


If you need to do a bit more:

  • Make a list of all the things that you want to work on, then pick ONE to focus on for a whole day. 

  • Then a whole week.

  • Start small and give yourself realistic, manageable daily goals.

  • Build on your successes and move on very quickly from your so-called 'failures'.

  • Get support! Hire a coach, guide, healer, teacher, or support group.

  • Get an accountability buddy - tell a good friend what you're doing and check in with them to make sure it gets done.

  • Take regular breaks and be compassionate with yourself.


If you need to do a bit less:

  • Understand that any guilt you feel about this is a tool of the patriarchy and, as such, can fuck all the way off.

  • Book your rest time in your diary - like actually write it in there.

  • Can't take a week off? How about a day?

  • Can't take a day off? How about an hour?

  • Can't take an hour off? You're in trouble, my friend - get it booked in NOW!

  • Rest can be a total switch-off (sleep/meditation), or something gently active (massage/stroll/making art). It's up to you.

  • Read a book, take a pink bubble bath (yes you actually can do that), call a friend, watch a movie, take a walk, sing a song, feed your body.


YOU decide - and make sure your choice is coming from the most loving and compassionate part of yourself.


Let me know what you're going to be getting up to!


And check out THIS podcast episode about true self-care.


Big love,

Sophie x







P.S. I only have a couple of spaces left on my waiting list for September. If you think you might be interested in getting to work on your stuff, then book your free chat today - no commitment. If it's right for you, you'll know.








 
 
 

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